1. Mysterious and Disease-Ridden Blankets!
Time for annual Thanksgiving role play. Make sure you don't lose! There's nothing quite like celebrating Christmas with smallpox.
2. PETA Flyers!
Thanksgiving is a GREAT time to spread awareness about animal cruelty, think of the soul of the turkey you're about to eat...
Extra points for showing up in typical PETA style... as in naked.
3. Your Token Buzzkill Friend!
Bring her on over! Everyone will love her. Extra points if she has eating issues and looks down on those who like to divulge in an extra pie slice or four.
4. Gluten-Free, Lactose-Free, Sugar-Free, Transfat-Free, Happiness-Free Kale Pie!
Everyone will be back for seconds! I'm sure of it!
5. Your Sister's Ex!
Who needs to watch television on Thanksgiving when you can easily create your own Jerry Springer episode. Sign me up!
6. Heck, Bring Jerry Springer!
There's no time better than Thanksgiving to dive into all of those juicy family secrets. Grandpa's alcohol problem? Aunt Sally's recent infidelity? Bring it on!
7. A Scale!
My personal favorite is to enforce family weigh-ins after each serving. There will be NO over-eating at this Thanksgiving feast!
8. An Inflatable Pool!
What better way to end your Thanksgiving feast than with a dip in an inflatable pool? Bring out your bikinis, let's dive in!